After spending a couple of weeks messaging back and forth with the guy she met on the dating website, Rosa finally plucked up the courage to meet him in person. They agreed on a casual location; during the day of course, so Mae could look after the kids for Rosa and so Roarke could arrange a sitter.
Things were going well and they'd been chatting easily for a good hour; or at least Roarke had anyway. Rosa finds it difficult to talk about herself and had been avoiding doing so by bombarding Roarke with questions the whole time. However, she knew that eventually she would have to and it was beginning to panic her.
Roarke: ... So yeah, since Gertie came along I started writing freelance so I can be with her as much as possible. I couldn't carry on writing about music and bands because I can't go out to gigs and things any more, so I set up a blog about my life with Gertie and now I spend my time writing articles for parenting magazines on my experiences and cheap but fun activities for babies! Not exactly what I'd envisaged for my future but it means I can spend more time with Gertie and I don't want to miss a moment. I hadn't seen my brother since we were teenagers; never even met his partner, Gertie's mum. They were on their way to watch me and my band when it happened... But anyway, enough about me. I'd like to learn more about the beautiful lady sitting opposite me now.
Rosa: Uhm. I... So... You were in a band?
Roarke had noticed Rosa's reluctance to talk about herself even before their meeting today when they had been chatting online. He knew he liked Rosa right from the start and so was happy to just answer her questions as he knew she preferred, but it was reaching the point where he really wanted to learn more about her and simply listen to her speak. However, he knew he was going to have to handle the situation carefully...
Roarke: Yes, I was in a band before Gertie came along... But I will tell you more about that later. Rosa... You don't have to be shy about talking to me, or telling me things about yourself. There's nothing you could say that would make me think any less of you. Will you talk to me?.. Please?.. I told you what I did before Gertie came into my life. What did you do before?
Rosa hesitated. Its not that she was ashamed about it, but she knew all too well how disapproving some people can be. The playground mums hadn't spoken to her since they found out. But she hadn't done it for years anyway, and Roarke would have to know at some point if she wanted to pursue some kind of relationship with him so it was probably best that she told him now...
Rosa: Ok. I'll tell you. I... was a model.
Roarke: A model?.. Why were you worried about telling me that? I think you're beautiful so it makes sense to me...
Rosa blushed momentarily at Roarke's comment before launching into a hurried, panic-stricken explanation. She hung her head as she spoke to avoid looking at Roarke as she didn't want to see the look of disappointment she was sure she would see on his face as she spoke.
Rosa: Because I didn't just model for wholesome clothing companies or toilet paper commercials. Well, I did that too. But... I modelled lingerie! I mean, not for dirty magazines or anything! They were tasteful! But some did involve me wearing not very much at all which is probably obvious given that it was lingerie, but you wouldn't know it from the way the playground mums went on about it even though they were probably all wearing it themselves under their Barbour jackets and organic cotton sweatshirts and sleeping with each others husbands which I can't believe I just said because that's awful to say and I'm not normally like that, I swear! But I mean it was bad enough when they found out I'd done that, let alone when Stacie's mum found out that I used to be a burlesque dancer too but I mean, its not like I do it now; I haven't done it since I started taking care of the kids! And it was artful dancing at theatres and charity events, not in some sleazy club in the laps of old men, I'd never do anything like that! And as I said, I don't do it anymore anyway so its irrelevant really...
Rosa came to quiet stop and waited nervously for his response but she had worried unnecessarily. Roarke had listened, patiently and un-judging. He spoke tenderly and reached out towards her.
Roarke: Rosa... I think you're amazing just as you are and because of who you are. Just because some snooty playground mum's got their knickers in a twist because you look better in them than they do, doesn't mean you should feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. You are a brilliant person.
Rosa: *Sighs* I don't think so. If I was a brilliant person, I wouldn't think about it anymore; I'd just get on with life and be content taking care of the kids, helping them with their spelling, changing nappy's and finger painting on the weekends. And I do love doing those things and I love the kids more than anything. But I miss it. I was great at it and I miss it. I really miss it.
Roarke: Its ok, I understand.
Roarke: I love Gertie more than anything but I miss my old life every day. And its ok to feel like that. Its ok for you to feel like that too. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Rosa: But the playground mum's are so harsh about it. The only time they speak to me now is to make disapproving comments about Asa refusing to wear a jacket even if its snowing, or because Connie refuses to wear a clip to keep her hair out her eyes. They say its no wonder they refuse to dress properly when they are being cared for by someone who took her clothes off for a living.
Roarke: They say that because they are jealous, ignorant morons. What you did or do is none of their business. A lot of my friends bailed on me when I said I was taking Gertie on. They thought I was crazy, they didn't understand. It really upset me at first but then I realised that they were no friends of mine if that's how they felt. If the playground mum's are like that, they aren't worth worrying about. Our lives have changed massively and as much as we may love how they are now, it doesn't mean we can't feel a little sad for what we have had to sacrifice.
Rosa: I guess you're right. Its just hard when I have to see them every day. And I don't really have any other friends, only Mae. I just feel so alone sometimes.
Roarke: You're not going to be alone anymore Rosa. I'll be here for you whenever you need me.
Rosa: Th... Thank you Roarke. I'd really like that... *blushes* So anyway, let me write down the address of that playgroup you mentioned earlier! I'll have to come along with Pedro some time!
Roarke: Sure, that would be great. We'd love to see you there.
Rosa: Drat. I can't find my pen.
Roarke: Its ok! I think I've got one in my bag!
Roarke: I could have sworn I had one in here somewhere...
Roarke: Hmm. No pen, but would a pencil crayon suffice?
Rosa: *giggles* That would be fine, thank you.
Roarke: Now there's a massive indicator of how much my life has changed! Instead of pulling a new record or the latest issue of Rolling Stone out of my bag, I've pulled out a nappy!
Now it was Roarke's turn to get embarrassed.
Roarke: Oh jeez, and now I'm sitting here talking to a beautiful girl with said nappy in one hand and Zippy the Zebra in the other like I'm doing some sort of weird puppet show in front of a diner full of people. They must think I'm some sort of lunatic! I'm sorry! Jeez I am such an idiot.
Rosa: *giggles*
Rosa: Its ok... Wait one moment...
Rosa: There. We can be nappy puppet lunatics together *giggles*
Roarke: *laughs*
Roarke: Thank you for today Rosa, its been the best grown-up fun I've had in a long time.
Rosa: It was for me too.
Roarke: I'd love to see you again... If that would be ok with you that is?
Rosa: I would like that very much...
